Really, that about sums it up.
I'll turn in my man card now.
Oh, you want to know MORE?! Are you SURE?! OK...
For several weeks now, Jess has been very interested in seeing a documentary called "The Business of Being Born." Sure, I thought. I love documentaries! And although childbirth wasn't tops on my list of topics I'd like to see a documentary on, I was pleased that Jess was interested in a boring documentary and so I was strangely interested in watching this with her.
And then it started -- and two minutes in, I thought "OH..... CRAPWITHCORN. BIRTHS."
Not your normal births, mind you, where a woman struggles and a curtain the size of Rhode Island separates the business side from the party side, and ne'er the twain shall meet. This is primal birth being shown my friends: warm tub, grunts, and then suddenly -- a baby emerges from the water like a little manatee.
The first one was OK -- had to look away a bit, but not bad. By the 12th description of a natural birth I was squirming a bit. Then suddenly R.icki L.ake (yes, the "Cousin Paternity Tests" R.icki L.ake) swifts us into the world of her second birth, and she captured it all on home video. I'll recap that portion of the film:
I'll turn in my man card now.
Oh, you want to know MORE?! Are you SURE?! OK...
For several weeks now, Jess has been very interested in seeing a documentary called "The Business of Being Born." Sure, I thought. I love documentaries! And although childbirth wasn't tops on my list of topics I'd like to see a documentary on, I was pleased that Jess was interested in a boring documentary and so I was strangely interested in watching this with her.
And then it started -- and two minutes in, I thought "OH..... CRAPWITHCORN. BIRTHS."
Not your normal births, mind you, where a woman struggles and a curtain the size of Rhode Island separates the business side from the party side, and ne'er the twain shall meet. This is primal birth being shown my friends: warm tub, grunts, and then suddenly -- a baby emerges from the water like a little manatee.
The first one was OK -- had to look away a bit, but not bad. By the 12th description of a natural birth I was squirming a bit. Then suddenly R.icki L.ake (yes, the "Cousin Paternity Tests" R.icki L.ake) swifts us into the world of her second birth, and she captured it all on home video. I'll recap that portion of the film:
- Ricki is pregnant and opts for a home birth
- Ricki is in pain, wandering around her kitchen in moans and grunts
- Ricki is in her bathtub giving birth -- aaaand, there's the baby
- Ricki is breast-feeding and grateful for the experience
The rest of the film was a blur of natural births, grainy depictions of turn-of-the-century (that's from 19th to 20th) deliveries and me digging my fingernails into my eyelids to scrape away the memories.
Do I have a problem with midwives or home births? Absolutely not. But do I want to ever see that documentary again?
Let's put it this way... I'll see the entire "Ernest Goes To" movie set and "Teletubbies" reruns before I check that documentary out again. The way I see it, seeing the birth of a child is like watching any other home movie -- there's a right time and place for it, and it's a lot more interesting and exciting when it's your own.
This weekend, I'm picking the movie -- "Iron Man!"
No comments:
Post a Comment