Birds in My BBQ II: The Great Starling Hunt of 2008

You can read below about our intrepid feathered friends who had taken residence in my BBQ. At last report, all we had were three Cadbury eggs to show for the pounds of white turd on my deck and the delay of grilling season by two months.



As of Saturday, however, we got a lot more than we bargained for.



We had been hearing the newborn baby starlings screaming for their mamma for about a week, and Jess wanted to just get some simple pictures of the little ones -- not much, just a lift of the BBQ, a couple pictures, and we'd close the BBQ and let Shadrach and brothers percolate for another week or so before they flew the coop (literally -- and let me get distracted and note that the term "literally" is unfortunately overused and is now used in many instances as a substitute for "totally" -- as in, "that Angelina Jolie better not count her chickens before they hatch -- literally." Well, c'mon, as granola as Angelina and Brad are, I doubt they're "literally" breeding chickens along with their 27 kids, so let's just all agree to moderate our use of the term, nnnk? Sincerely, Vocabulary Dork).



What happened was a comedy of errors:

• Jess opens BBQ cover to reveal three rather large Starling babies (Mom had apparently been injecting the worms with HGH -- is that BGH in this case?)


• Starling babies scatter -- two towards the back of the BBQ, and one plays dead or lazy and kicks it in the nest


• Baby Starling #1 steps between the grill and the BBQ cover, so if we closed the BBQ cover it would crush him into tiny little starling pieces


• Jess attempts to encourage Baby Starlings to head back to their nest -- instead, they jump out of Said BBQ and onto the deck floor, precariously close to a 12-foot drop onto concrete


• First attempt at corraling Baby Starlings towards the middle of the deck results in one flying/floating off the deck and another hiding between deck edge & BBQ


• Dave sent below to a) look for first floating Baby Starling and b) catch second Baby Starling in case he falls off the edge


• Second Baby Starling falls off edge.


• Second Baby Starling lands softly on squishy back lawn, sending Jess flying down the steps to get him back in the BBQ. First Starling is now halfway to Tillamook, pleased to be out past curfew with his good-for-nothing adolescent Starling friends.


• Jess impressively catches Second Baby Starling in her hands and gets him back into the BBQ. Lazy Baby Starling meanwhile has not moved.


• Jess searches for First Starling for 2 hours with no luck.


• First Starling sends postcard titled "Fiji -- Wish You Were Here"

Quite an adventure -- we've been happy having them here, but also happy when they're gone in a few days. Daddy needs his grill!