- November 18th, 2007
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE TO PRESS
DAVID FUHRIMAN, FAMED PURVEYOR OF AWESOMENESS, BEGINS COMPELLING BLOG TO FEED VORACIOUS APPETITE OF FRIENDS AND FAMILY FOR FREQUENT UPDATES
BEAVERTON, OR -- David Parker Fuhriman, in a move of infinite wisdom and egotism, has announced his intention to maintain a web log of entries, or "blog," to chronicle his actions, feelings and dreams to meet the high demand of an adoring few (or none).
The blog, a brilliant idea spawned in the mind of one of Raggedy Ann & Andy's Kinder College's greatest alumni, promises to meet the needs of Fuhriman's parents at the very least, and this list may grow to include his girlfriend, sisters and perhaps even those not connected to him by blood or contractual agreement.
"The idea hit me one day, between my shift at the orphanage and my kidney donation to the Dalai Lama," said Fuhriman, a humble man who never speaks of his vast charitable contributions to society. "If just one person can learn from my -- let's face it, puh-retty dang awesome -- example, then the painstaking hours of assembling this blog will be worth their weight in Papa John's and Jiffy Lube coupons."
Fuhriman has captivated audiences worldwide since he first wrote his exclusive list of "Top Friends" and "Top Girlfriends" in his fourth-grade school journal. That list, now published annually, is considered a litmus test of popularity in the mind of its author, if not in most of the free world. Jessica Raychek of Santa Monica, CA is currently the only member of the "Top Girlfriends" list -- a distinction shared by none that has made her quick friends on Fuhriman's "Facebook" friends list.
It is expected that Fuhriman will update his blog on a weekly basis at least, combining images and words into a Coldstone Creamery-like literary concoction oozing with taste, wit and Heath bar chunks.